


Skin and Bone

by prefertheconsultingdetective



Series: trial and error [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-06-15
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:42:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23686360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prefertheconsultingdetective/pseuds/prefertheconsultingdetective
Summary: Chris has a huge heart and falls hard and easy.
Relationships: Chris Evans (Actor)/Original Character(s), Chris Evans/Sebastian Stan
Series: trial and error [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1684246
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> absolute self indulgent Chris Evans romance which existed for a very long time. I am just posting it because I love it a lot, and I know myself, because I hope that this is gonna make me finish it, haha.
> 
> Title taken from [True - Marina](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iaWWYUEuzlA), full quote is;  
> 
>
>> You're skin and bone, you're full of fear  
> But you are just a human being
> 
>   
> and I liked it, also the working title of this was "valleyofthedolls", because I am exclusively listening to her while I write on this. 

The story of how they met would make a sweet article for the tabloids. And so does the fact that Chris still remembers pretty much everything about it. 

It’s one of those industry parties where everyone is basically stroking each others ego and pretending to be very interesting and busy, but still very open for every new artistic challenge. And so and so on. 

Usually Chris gets drunk and searches the few people he actually likes (not the strategy his agent approves of), but today there are several people from Marvel watching over him, because the Age of Ultron premiere was just a couple of days ago. It’s all very tiring and Chris is exhausted both physically and mentally. 

He doesn’t sleep too well in hotel beds and he’s had a lot of those in the last weeks.   
So he’s thinking about leaving, he’s already done his social round, said hello to anyone who’s important and anyone else who thinks they’re important. 

Chris turns around and wants to go search his agent to tell him that he’s done for the night when he accidentally bumps into someone holding a glass of Champagne that’s now spilling all over them. 

It’s a young woman dressed in a floaty dress that is kind of lavendery and now graced with a dark wet spot just on her chest. 

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry”, he says loudly and is a bit afraid, because he remembers ruining his mothers dress once and that was one terrible experience. 

But when he looks up from the mess he’s caused he finds her smiling brightly at him, her cheeks rosy and her eyes shining with what seems to be genuine excitement. It’s such a rare thing to see at these events that he has to grin back at her. 

“Oh, it’s no worries, really”, she says and waves her other hand without the glass and the accent is weird to place, but it’s definitely not American and it has him wondering for a moment, but then she adds “Captain” and the thing is; normally if people call him that they’re either little kids or really not and trying to get into his pants. But her smile is still just that: an open smile and there’s no innuendo in her voice or no _I can call you_ _that in bed, too_ in her face. 

“Um”, Chris says non-committaly. 

She smiles for another second, then something seems to cross her mind, because her expression practically falls and she says “Shit, that’s probably a terrible thing to say, right? Calling you Captain, I’m such an idiot.” she shoves a lose strand of brown hair behind her ear and blinks nervously. “I’m shit at this, small talking and pretending I’m not talking to people I’m a big fan of.” 

She shakes her head and laughs and shrugs and then she says; “Maybe it’s a good thing you spilled that drink, because the anxiety doesn’t get better with alcohol, it really doesn’t.” and that’s such an honest and confusing statement that she’s practically won his heart already. 

He really gets so easily attached to people, it’s ridiculous.

“Take a deep breath, it’s all better with oxygen.” He says and smiles. It’s such a grandpa advice, but it’s what he does half of the time – just breathe through it. 

She does too now, and closes her eyes for a moment. 

It gives him a second to actually look at her. He doesn’t know her and he wonders if she’s an intern or the daughter of someone (or wife, she has the right age to be both, but somehow Chris can’t really imagine thinking of her in terms of wife of). 

She has light brown hair that reaches her chin and curls all around her face. Her makeup is visible, but not intimidating and her cheeks have the natural glow of alcohol and excitement. 

She’s really pretty and Chris can’t decide if she’s a girl or a woman. 

  
When she opens her eyes again she lets out a string of curses. “That’s much better”, she adds and Chris decides to go for woman. 

“Let’s start again”, he says impulsively and decides that another half an hour isn’t going to make it any worse. And this is the first time all evening that he’s even remotely interested to talk to anyone he hasn’t known before. It’s not that’s he’s generally uninterested in getting to know people and making new acquaintances, but somehow you can’t get past yes, I’ve worked with this and that one and well, whenever I’m home I’m just exactly the same person I was before, I’m so down to earth you wouldn’t believe it. 

“Okay, alright. Atmen”, she says and looks down and then back up at him. “Hi, I’m Marie and it’s great meeting you.” She smiles her lovely smile and he smiles it right back. 

“Hi, hello, I’m Chris.” 

“I knooow.” Marie laughs. “I’m a fan actually.” She suddenly turns and looks around as if she’s making sure no one is listening. “I just had to check that no one of my people is here, because they made me promise not to do this, but I just got to say; I love Steve, even more than in the comics actually. And of course, that movie you’ve directed, it’s wonderful. I watched it when I was really heartbroken and it wasn’t what I was expecting, but I really, really enjoyed that. So thank you, I guess?” she shrugs. ”It really is great meeting you.” 

“Wow, thank you.” He answers and means it. He really is proud of Captain America and the whole journey has been a good one, but having people tell him that they enjoyed Before We Go still makes him all giddy and nervous. It’s a bit like it’s his baby and he knows that he has to thank Marvel for being able to do this, directing a movie that’s more indie than anything else he’s done in a while and that’s refreshing and he’s so proud of what they’ve done there. 

“Someone told me it’s not good to gush about other people's work here, especially not if you’re talking to them, but I don’t understand that, so I’m going to be honest here. I’m not a big romcom fan and that evening I started both the Anna Faris one and the one with Anthony Mackie, too, but in the end I went for Before We Go”, she pauses a moment. “Maybe because I really dig Alice Eve, yes, but I’m really happy I saw it. It’s a lovely film, the whole atmosphere, great acting”, she nods two times for emphasis. “Great work.” 

Chris laughs and rubs his neck. 

“Okay, enough awkward complementing, I’m done now.” Marie closes and grins. He feels a bit flattered, it’s a funny feeling in the pit of his stomach. Genuine.

For half a minute they just continue to smile at each other and Chris’ brain runs on hyper speed of what he could say. He doesn’t know her, he doesn’t even know in which position she’s here. Maybe he’s going to go with her strategy – full honesty. 

“So tell me, Marie”, he scrunches his nose a bit, she pronounced it differently, when he says it it’s more of a Mary. “What are you here for?” 

“Oh, same as everyone I guess, selling my soul to the devil that’s Hollywood.” She laughs and then shrugs. “No, I”, she stops, looks down, twirls the glass she’s still holding in her fingers and when she looks back up her face is serious. “I was in this film, it’s called Surrender and yeah, I don’t know, here I am now.” She shrugs again. 

“It’s a bit like the first days of University, where you have to do all the organizing yourself and you’re going to your classes and everyone’s acting likes it’s all good, but you have no idea what you’re doing.” 

Chris has never been to University. He has no idea.

He gestures towards her empty glass. “Think it’s safe to have another one of those now?”   
Marie’s smile is back and she nods.   
  
It’s nearly one hour later when they’ve had at least 3 more and Chris is getting seriously buzzed, which makes his brain to mouth filter work less and less and he’s beginning to think about asking Marie out on a date. 

Meeting at an industry event, that’s a sweet story to tell and it’s all very cliché and in his drunken haze he’s already thinking of bringing her home to his mom (because yes, he gets easily attached to people). 

  
They have moved into one of the corners and Chris has been telling her stories about some of the people in here and she’s told him about the movie (in her own words: “It’s mediocre at best”, her voice sounds both amused and sad, Chris cannot tell her how much he understands). 

  
Marie is standing next to him, she’s leaning against the wall, carefully draped, so she doesn’t let her pretty dress get wrinkled. Chris is a touchy guy, not only with woman, but with everyone, really. People tell him he grabs both his own and his friend’s (male friends!) boobs a lot and yes, okay, he gets very cuddly when he’s either drunk or nervous (or both). He’s actually stroked a microphone very softly last year, several times.

  
But there’s something weirdly fragile about her. Maybe it’s the pale skin against the light color of her dress or how he can’t look away from her neck when she turns her head and he can see her hair barely brushing her nape. 

  
Still, he tries and says “So would you like to go out – “ 

  
-which is exactly when her phone starts ringing and because he’s a noisy little shit he gets a glimpse of a woman laughing at her from the screen, somehow he think’s best friend checking on her, but Marie says “Oh, that’s my girlfriend”, and her smile has been sweet before, but now she’s radiating. “I really have to get that.” She explains and waves and then she’s gone. 

For a split second Chris wonders if she’s using girlfriend to refer to her female friends, but she doesn’t seem like it and Chris is not dumb, he can see love when it laughs him in the face. 

  
Shit, he thinks and lets his head bump hard against the wall. He feels fucking miserable. 

When Marie isn’t back twenty minutes later Chris decides to go home. For real this time. 

  
He goes say goodbye to a few people and finds his agent getting really hammered with someone who looks a lot like Jimmy Fallon. He hopes they don’t make drunken appointments for Chris to come on the show. 

He texts his brother while crossing the room to the stairs, because he feels like seeing his little brother might soothe this minor heartache. He’s also really looking forward to his bed now, ‘cause there’s nothing sleep cannot solve. 

But when he’s coming down the stairs, there’s a little purple pile that looks a lot like a crying girl. 

  
“Hey are you alright?” he says softly. He wants to reach out and touch her shoulder or something, but he doesn’t. 

Marie lifts her head from her knees and shows off impressively smudged make up. Her expression is something between frantic desperation and genuine tragedy. “My girlfriend broke up with me.” She mumbles and wipes her eyes and he can see that she’s trying to smile through it, but it’s not exactly going well. “Oh mein Gott, I’m a mess.” She adds, clasps her hands over her face and breaks into tears again. 

  
She cries quietly, her shoulders shaking terribly and polite distance be damned, Chris is not made off ice, he reaches out, pulls her towards him and encircles her in a bear hug. 

Marie’s tears leave a wet patch on his shirt and when she sits up again she seems a bit embarrassed about it. “I’m sorry”, she whispers, but Chris shrugs it off. 

“It’s okay, we’re even now”, he says and tries to smile a smile that says _I’m sorry you’re hurt, I wish I could make it go away_. 

She sniffs a little and shivers. 

“Do you want to talk about it? I know I’m practically a stranger, but talking helps”, Chris inclines his head “or we could talk about something else entirely, whatever you want, re-“ he tries, but Marie takes a deep, shattered breath and he stops talking. 

  
“My girlfriend broke up with me.” she repeats. 

“I’m sorry”, Chris says and means it. 

“She said, she – “ there are more tears and more shivering and Chris takes off his jacket and drapes it over her shoulders without saying a word. 

“Thank you”, Marie is absently fingering the lapels and when she puts her arms in it it’s a little as if she’s disappearing in the dark blue fabric. She looks small and a little lost.

“She said that she can’t do it anymore. She said I’m not there enough. She said she couldn’t reach me in days.” Marie swallows thickly. “She said she’s sorry, but my dream is breaking her heart and she can’t have a relationship like that.” 

And Chris has heard hundreds of variations of that. It’s like it some sort of ritual, getting dumped because of long distance and apparent commitment issues. 

“I’m sorry”, he repeats dumbly. He’s so bad at this shit, he can hug people all day long, but he’s so bad at talking about stuff. 

“I’m going home tomorrow.” Marie whispers like she can’t believe it and Chris wonders where home is. By now he’s suspecting Germany or Austria or something, but he’s so bad at figuring this shit out and he’s obviously not going to ask her now.

“I was gone for 6 weeks, we were doing all this press stuff and little premieres and you would think that 6 weeks aren’t the world, we tried talking over the phone, it’s all a bit overwhelming, we’ve made this film in Wales, nearly a year ago and then I met Anna and things have been good, really good and now this happened and I have no idea what to do.” 

“Hey man,” Chris says and immediately wants to slap himself. He’s such a fucking meatball. “I know it hurts right now, but you said you’re going home tomorrow, maybe you can talk about it and figure something out?” 

“Yes, Maybe, I don’t know. She sounded pretty firm.” 

He doesn’t know what to say to that. You must be pretty firm to break up in the middle of a press related Hollywood party. You also must be pretty much of an asshole to do that, in his opinion. There are people coming down the stairs behind them and he’s pretty sure they make an odd pair, her with her ruined makeup and his big jacket. 

He rubs her back one last time. “What would you say if my driver takes you to your hotel? I’m sure sleeping is the best thing you can do right now.” 

Chris can see that she’s thinking about it, he’s hoping she’s not thinking he’s trying to make a move on her, he tried that when he didn’t know about the girlfriend, yes, but he’s not that big of an idiot.

“Okay”, she says finally.   
  
They’re mostly silent during the drive to her hotel. 

Marie is staring out of the window in with something that looks like a mixture of exhaustion and sadness and the fact that they’re practically still strangers slowly creeps back in, filling the space between them and making Chris feel a little bit awkward.

When they’re in front of the Hotel he gets out of the car with her (because he has manners, thank you very much) and out of an impulse he gives her another hearty hug. He can feel her sigh a little against his neck and when she steps back to finally say goodbye she’s looking sad and lost again. 

“I really hope everything works out for you”, he says. 

She nods and smiles, it’s a sad little thing. “It was great meeting you, Chris.” She reaches out, touches his hand for a moment and then turns around and goes inside.   
  
Chris is already back in his own Hotel room when he’s realizing that she was still wearing his jacket where his phone is tugged in a pocket on the inside. 

The truth is (and that’s kind of a scary realization) that he should call his manager (with which phone?) and let her know, because it’s his phone and there’s actual sensitive information on there – starting with a lot of contact information of a lot of people and then the stuff that sells easily, candid pictures, his texting history – but Chris doesn’t. 

Because he really does not think she’d do that. Yes, sure, Marie was a fan, but there had been something so sincere and real about her, so different from the usual Hollywood stuff he’s getting these days, he just doesn’t want to believe that he’s been played (in case he’s wrong: goddamn fucking shit, what is he going to do?). 

So he just buys another one, so it'll be in Boston when he arrives, mourns his camera roll a little and internally thanks his mother for teaching him to always print out important stuff, because that way he can still take his booked flight to Boston. 

But when he comes down to the lobby to check out, the guy at the reception tells him that there’s a package for you, Mr Evans and makes a big fuss. 

  
Chris is a bit confused for a moment, but then he unwraps it and it’s his phone packed in his jacked and there’s a little note attached to it that reads; 

> _I think you’ve forgotten something :-)_ _  
> _ _I’m a pathetic person and my brain to mouth filter never works, so: thank you so much! for being there and talking to me even though I have no how-to-behave-in-front-of-an-actor-you-like manners. It means a lot._ _  
> _ _If you’ll ever be in Berlin again, feel free to call me! Seriously, don’t be a stranger (isn’t that what people say?)_ _  
> _ _Marie_

  
There’s also a (weird looking – probably german) cellphone number and a surname and Chris is so going to google her later.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't even remember what inspired this story, I am not that much of an Evanstan shipper, but (if it wasn't obvious before) Marie could be seen as some sort of Mary Sue character ;) funnily enough in the meantime I’ve shot my first movie and my character was actually called Marie… Art imitates art?! anyway, even if this Marie here is inspired by personal fantasies (what if I was older, hotter and working full time as an actress…) I was left behind pretty fast :)  
> Anyway, I was convinced I’d never finish it, so I wrote a smutty OS once (this one was inspired by an amazing story from a friend) it’s called [go see what lies behind](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6585646)  
> 

There's always something so very relieving and comforting about getting back to Boston and being back in his place. Chris doesn’t have too much time off, only a month until he’s got another bunch of meetings in LA (that’ll hopefully turn out to be another chance at directing).    
He spends the next weeks meeting up with friends, spending a lot of time at his mother’s and cuddling his nephew to death (he starts saying I don’t wike it again soon enough). He texts his old friends, goes for (a lot of) drinks with Scott and is otherwise pretty lazy, it’s a good thing to eat just whatever crap he wants to and not having the constant nagging of the looming exercise plan.    
It’s relaxing and it brings him back on the right track. After three weeks it’s like a big weight has been lifted off him. Chris feels good again.    
It’s something that happens a lot, him getting weighed down by the stress and the anxiety that bottles up when he’s working. It’s not always resulting in panic attacks and him breaking down, but he’s learned long ago that he really doesn’t want to have that happen anymore.    
  
Chris also looks Marie up on the internet. He feels a little creepy doing that, but he reminds himself that she’d said that she was a big fan and that probably means that she’s seen a few interviews, too and knows one or two things about him.

He doesn’t find much, though. 

There’s a german wikipedia page that he runs thought google translate and it tells him she’s 25 (turning 26 in October), grew up in a small city and lived in Berlin since she was 19. She’s been to drama school and has been in a couple of german films and tv shows (he notices that there’s a lot of crime stuff and wonders if that’s a popular thing in Germany, too, the detective shows?). The film she’s told him about seems to be her first international thing and while the synopsis doesn’t sound too interesting he can totally understand her doing it. Getting to the part of being able to choose to do good stuff means accepting a lot of shit things on the way just to get your name in the game, he knows that just too well.    
Chris watches the trailer anyway and while her part doesn’t seem to big and two minutes of flashing pictures and dramatic music can be pretty misleading about the actual quality of the film itself, at least she doesn’t seem to be completely untalented. 

  
  
One week before he’s leaving for LA he’s going out with Scott again.    
They get pretty drunk in Chris’ favorite bar and there are 2 people coming up, asking for a picture and somewhere in the back of his head he’s very embarrassed and just hopes the resulting images won’t make it to the internet. 

They go out for a smoke after (which is always a telling sign that they’re on the way to becoming pretty smashed) and Scott starts talking about this guy he’s been fucking around with. 

“He’s such a jerk, but I swear to god, Chris, he’s the best fuck I’ve had in all my life and I’m not” he points a finger like he’s accusing Chris of something “I’m not going to give that up.” 

Chris laughs. Idiocy runs high in the male Evans-family members.

  
“And his dick, oh my god, his dick. Seriously Chris, I’m not getting the straight guys anyway, but I swear if every man on this planet would have seen that dick, they’d all be just as gone as I am.” He nods and takes an enthusiastic drag from his cigarette. “You’re so missing out.” 

Chris thinks about telling Scott about how he’s been crushing on a few guys in the last couple of years, but as always, he decides that it hasn’t been serious enough to open up the big pot of  _ I might be a bit into dudes _ after all. 

Mostly it had only been Sebastian Stan, anyway, and Chris thinks that’s just him being able to appreciate good abs and a pretty face (and gorgeous eyes and a surprising good butt and there’s also his weird fixation with the way Sebastian got all lubed up for his metal arm and then there’s the weird acrobatic sex scene for the Sundance film and yeah, how could he not?). 

  
So Chris doesn’t say anything, manages to get another two cigarettes from a guy that’s standing outside with them and listens to Scott’s praises of his fuckbuddy’s penis. 

He suddenly has to think of Marie and wonders if she’s been able to, you know, kiss and make up with her girlfriend. 

In his drunken haze he decides that it wouldn’t hurt to just ask and sends a text to her number (that he has saved immediately after reading her note).    
  
When he wakes up the next day (with a raging headache, of course) there are three messages from Scott;

> 3.32am Gr8 evening bro, soon agn    
>    
>    
>  10.56am when and HOW did we get home 

  
and 

  


> 10.57am we’re never going out again, I think I’m dying 

  
and another one from Marie

  


> 9.17am i'm, not sure you’ve reached the right number here, who’s there?

  
Chris groans and wants to die, because when he actually checks the message he’s sent to her he’s so embarrassed that he can’t breathe for a moment. 

  


> CE Hope things are doog again in germny! Just thought of you, my brothr has bn talking abt penises all night. 

  
He sends a single emoji to Scott and decides to deal with the mess that’s him sending drunk texts to german actresses after he’s had a shower and a coffee.    
  
At 2pm he’s constructed a big text that says how sorry he is and that’s him, Chris (he has thought about writing Cap, but that’s way too ridiculous even for him) and that apparently he’s had a bit too much to drink and did he already say how sorry he is? Because he is. A lot.    
He turns off his phone after sending the message and goes for a run.    
  
When he’s back he switches it back on and when there’s no new message he even checks his message folder, because you know, sometimes this new tech isn’t completely reliable.    
Unfortunately there’s no new message waiting for him either.    
(Maybe, just maybe, he’s a bit disappointed at that, but it’s probably for the better like this.)    
  
  
When Chris goes back to LA he starts working out for Cap again. He didn’t slag off completely while staying at home, but his work out schedule is still killing him. He’s going to start filming in Atlanta (Hotlanta!) in a couple of weeks and while he’s looking forward to getting back together with the team it’s also really hard work they’ll be doing. 

The script for Cap3 is insane and it’s gonna be huge, the scale of an Avengers movie with Steve at its heart. It’s great and Chris loves is, absolutely, but he’s already freaking out about the whole PR circle that comes with it.   
Luckily that’s still so very far away.    
  
So he bulks up again, meets friends in LA, has the typical industry meetings and spends some time with Chris and Anna, practically living in their kitchen, completely spoiling their son and making himself envy them a little wistfully. 

When he’s finally going to Atlanta, the whole squad is there – Robert and Scarlett, Renner and Mackie,    
  
And Sebastian, sweet Seb with his big heart and bedroom eyes, Seb who has obviously worked out a lot this time, because he looks almost as big as Chris himself and it doesn’t help with Chris’ whole bi-curiosity at all. 

  
But what makes it extra complicated with Sebastian is also that even though they only see each other every couple of months (if at all) it’s always as if they’ve never been apart. They just click, and hit right off where they left things, which is awesome and so very helpful – both professionally and personally. They both care a lot about Steve and Bucky’s relationship and it’s always much better to portray an intimate friendship when you get along with the other. They’ve had a lot of (both drunk and sober) talks about their characters. 

Chris thinks of himself as a pretty decent guy, he knows that he sometimes talks faster than he thinks, but he always means well. He tries to be open and sincere and everything, but he’s had his fair share of fuck ups and bad behavior. 

So what, he’s human and still learning, but Sebastian – Sebastian is a fucking saint and sometimes Chris catches himself staring at Sebastian when he’s joking with the make up people or just smiling at everyone he meets. Because he does that a lot, smiling and being nice to everyone, even after 10 insane hours of shooting, sweaty and exhausted, but still so fucking perfect that it’s a bit overwhelming. 

And yes, maybe Chris is a bit in love with Sebastian, but then again, who isn’t? He’s absolutely sure half of the crew is and he just happens to be fanboy number one, so what?    
  
So they spend a couple of months shooting stuff in Atlanta, which is a long time if you’re around each other nearly 24/7, but it’s just perfect.

Sebastian goes back to New York after one and a half months, when they’re doing the mostly Avengers stuff, but when they’ve finished that they’ll have a week of and then they’re going to do on location shoots in Germany for a few weeks.   
  
Which is great, yes, Chris totally loves that part of the job, being able to work in different countries, all over the world. They’re going to go to Berlin and then Leipzig, where they’ll shoot at the airport, and Chris can’t stop thinking about Marie.

He could bite his own ass sometimes, he and his open heart, sometimes he feels like he’s falling a little in love with everyone he meets, Alice (oh Alice), Anna anyways, because they’ve known each other for such a long time that Chris cannot help but love her, RDJ, even though that’s mostly fanboy admiration and maybe 0.002 percent of a crush and obviously Sebastian.

But he’s literally only met Marie once, talked to her for a bit and stalked her on the internet, it’s absolutely ridiculous that he’s still thinking about her. 

Especially, because it’s not  _ great, I met that person, I hope they’re doing good _ stuff he’s thinking, but the full force of  _ I really, really liked that one and I’m still kind of bummed she didn’t write back.  _ Maybe it’s because she wasn’t interested. Chris really hates himself for it, but he’s also old enough to admit that he’s much more interested in people who aren’t interested in him. Not like that anyways. 

If you’re a Captain America-stage celebrity you get a lot of people coming at you and more than half of them are really fucking attractive and maybe a third are actually interesting as well, but somehow it’s so much more rewarding to impress someone who doesn’t want to be impressed.    
It’s a stupid and very pubescent character trait and Chris is absolutely working on it, but he can’t help himself with Marie. 

Especially because she obviously was a fan, but she was just that – a fan who happened to be an actress, too, but not instantly trying to get into his pants and films. 

It makes Chris feel a little depressed and sad. It's also ridiculous, really. 

But the day before his flight to Berlin his brother calls to tell him that the guy who was his best lay so far, apparently now found a new and surprising place of maturity and self observations, because he asked Scott to be his boyfriend. 

“Honestly Chris, I’ve never been asked in such a sweet way,” Scott giggles and goes on to explain that the guy didn't really act on his attraction to guys until recently and was overwhelmed and embarrassed by it, but that seems over now. 

So with even longstanding bachelor Scott leaving him behind in single-land, Chris feels decidedly lonely and sorry for himself when he sits on a plane over the Pacific Ocean to go to Germany for a few weeks.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is were the real improv starts, i dont think its possible to have a day off during on location shoots for a blockbuster like Civil War, but a writer can dream, right? and while I am sure not that many people would either be sober enough to recognize these people in a berlin club or care at all, I am also sure that they wouldn’t go out to the places I make them go. Even tho Seb posted that one picture of Margarita in Berlin which looks like my kind of place, but well, they look hipster and arty enough to do that. Whatever. I’m the god of my creations, right? And I wish I could go do some techno dancing with Chris Evans (also: chris has a house in LA and now I made him stay there in a hotel, shame on me for not knowing anything)

Berlin is great. They're doing a lot of action stuff here for which they partly trained already in Atlanta and filmed everything that needed a in studio green screen.They’re shooting in Mitte and Charlottenburg or that is what Chris is told. He has been in Berlin before, but never long and never privately. 

What he loves about these kind of movies is that they can give you a very strong feeling of community. They are all working very, very hard, but it's not a gritty drama that needs that much of emotional rehearsals or character work. By now they’ve all found where they stand with their respective roles and it's more of a come back than starting something new. 

Marvel is always fun. It’s a little like a big class trip, but only with more people that you like and much more professionalism, because they are here to work, after all. 

That doesn’t mean there’s not the occasional group night out. So it can be a bit like a school trip (even though it used to be much more adventurous, now everyone has kids and all that). They are in Europe's number one party city, after all and none of them is a dinosaur, yet (even though Robert likes to pretend he is), so they have their fair share of long dinners that get stretched into night of drinking and bar hopping - if schedule permits. 

It's one of these nights. They’ve had dinner at Daniel’s restaurant, who explains everything, gives recommendations und organizes a lot of specials. There’s tons of wine and beer and heavier stuff that Daniel insists they have to try. It’s Friday and as surreal as it sounds, they won’t be shooting anything on Saturday because they couldn’t get anything scheduled, due to either location being unavailable on a Saturday. 

Chris can only imagine how much Marvel must have bitched about losing so much money for a day off in Berlin.

But well, here they are. Enjoying what they can get; getting drunker by the hour. 

Some of the very responsible ones leave when they are starting to discuss what to do next; Robert who wants to have a video call with wife and kids, their directors - because they have actual work to do, they say, there’s a huge uproar from everyone, the guy that hold the boom mic for hours seems to be the angriest.

So when they leave the restaurant they are a much smaller group, but Chris is with Mackie and Sebastian and Scarlett, so he is really happy. And also very enjoyably drunk, so. They storm another bar that has a really weird name Chris can’t even begin to say. When he tries it sounds very much like Duck cummer and that’s just weird, so he stops.

It looks old and rustic, very hipster and is buzzing with a typical friday night crowd. 

They go upstairs where there's several small rooms with sofas and cozy chairs and an additional smaller bar.

Chris goes with Sebastian to buy a round of drinks and its great. He doesn't remember when was the last time he got drunk with Scarlett. He still feels a little emotionally sore from her leaving him, too, to go be responsible and happy. He is very glad he still has Sebastian with him.

Him and Margarita have been together for a while, but so far there was no baby talk. As far as Chris is aware, so who knows.

In any way, right now they are right up his alley, drinking, laughing and insisting everyone should take a shot of vodka, because of the number of Soviets.

(There's a huge discussion. Anthony yelling; "She just plays one.", pointing at Scarlett, who just smiles and shrugs. "It's the mindset that counts", Margarita answers.)

Chris doesn't care. He's heard booze, so he's going to get booze. He is a simple guy like that.

"Can I get -" he counts on his fingers, "7 shots of vodka." he yells. It's even more crowded now, if possible, but Chris is drunk enough to be a bit rude, pushes through the people - maybe elbows someone.

"Au. Geht's noch? Scheiß Ami." someone yells and elbows back. He turns, he doesn't speak any german, but I understands pissed off.

"Sorry sorry," he tries, turns his head.

"Fuck Chris Evan. Du bist das." Marie - off all people - says. 

It's possible that Chris reacts like a really happy golden retriever.

"Mariiiie," he yells and grabs her for a huge, alcompassing hug and kisses her cheek. Maybe wetly. Who can know these things. Alcohol makes him do all sorts of things. "I'm so happy."

"Me too." she says and is smiling and seems genuinely happy and just as pretty as he remembered. 

Now there's another shove on his left, someone says vodka and there's a tray with his shots. "I was just gonna - you want one?" Chris asks and Marie is laughing, so he just turns and orders another one.

When he has 8 little glasses, he balances the tray on his right hand and just impulsively grabs hers with the left, pulls and says "Man, we just have to hang out." Like, yeah, as if it wasn't clear before that he is that dumb.

The vodka is received with happy yelling and Chris says "Meet Marie. An old friend of mine." and gestures like he is a talk show host. 

_hey Marie_ they yell even more happy and then everyone is taking the shot. 

Its vicious, as vodka always tends to be, but really warm in Chris' stomach and he is feeling so happy. 

He sits back down on one of the sofas and pulls Marie next to him. 

"It's been so long." he says when she asks "Are you shooting Avengers stuff here?" and they both laugh. 

"Yes I am. It's Captain America Three actually, but yeah."

"That's so great. How's it going?" she is smiling and looking all excited and really fucking beautiful. 

"It's going absolutely wonderful, because I kick this guys ass every day." says Sebastian, who has leaned in and is now smiling brightly at Marie. "I'm Sebastian, nice to meet you." 

Chris' heart thumbs in his chest at Sebastian's sincerity. 

"I'm Marie and Chris could probably tell you how happy I am right now to experience this moment." She takes Sebastian's outstretched hand. 

"Why's that?" Sebastian tilts his head and looks between Chris and Marie quizzically.

"Because I am the biggest Captain America fan ever." Marie laughs before Chris can say anything. She shrugs and lifts her hands. "Which sounds so stupid when I say it like this."

"Aw man. That's amazing, keep it coming." Sebastian just says and leans in conspiringly. "So, Bucky or Cap?"

They all get along wonderfully. After a short talk to Sebastian Marie turns back to Chris to let him know she has to let her friends know where she went and gets up. She is super nice and seems genuine, but Chris' anxious brain is still afraid she won't come back. 

"How did you guys meet?" asks Scarlett, who didn't talk to Marie, but seems now a bit too casual to be entirely uninterested.

"Industry party," Chris shrugs.

He knows that Scarlett wants to know if they fucked. Not because it's one of the main categories she thinks in, but because Chris is a very obvious guy and they've known each other for way too long. He's almost sure she knows about his crush on Sebastian, too. 

But before Scarlett can ask any more questions Marie is back with two friends. 

"This is Julia and Anna," she says and Chris's heart sinks.

He should be happy for her. They met once at a party, he decided he liked her enough for ask her out, before she announced she, first, wasn't single and gay. And yeah, okay, her relationship status changes right that night and who knows if she's exclusively gay, but in any way, there's nothing fundamental enough happened to justify Chris feeling so crushed by the apparent news of their getting back together.

Hell, she never even answered his texts.

"Nice to meet you," he says and smiles, because he is stupid, but tries his best not to be an asshole. Anna is a very pretty woman with black bangs and killer makeup. She is not as pretty as Marie, though. It's a surreal and completely new experience to be jealous of a woman. 

Julia is blond and very loud. She practically takes over half the table. 

Marie takes back her seat next to Chris. There's no more space left for Anna, so she takes a chair. Chris revels in his victory and feels very young and petty.

"I'm so happy we are meeting like this." Marie tells him. She fingers her necklace and chuckles. "I can't believe I never answered that surreal text of yours." 

"I thought you just ignored me. Decided to stick to Cap rather than this stupid guy." He points at his face. 

"What?" she actually looks indignant. "Obviously I have no real idea who you are, but I really enjoyed our talk in LA and the text was very funny." She pauses. "And a little disturbing, I have to admit." 

"I'm very sorry." _I just thought of you a lot when I was drunk_ , he wants to say, but goes with: "I have no idea what happened." 

"If it's any consolation it probably made her like you even more." says Anna with a sly smile in Marie's direction. It's a bit of a weird move, but Chris decides not to think about it anymore. It's gonna take this friendship, if he can get it. 

"No idea what that says about you." he tells Marie. 

"Me neither." She winks. 

They are having a great time. At one point Sebastian goes to buy another round of beers and Mackie and Scarlett decide to get a taxi back to the hotel. Chris decides that kids really make you boring. He hopes Scott waits a long time, before getting any.

They rest start to discuss what to do next. The bar around them is starting to empty a little bit. When Chris last checked his phone it was 5 to 1, but he has no idea when that was. 

“We can go dancing.” Margarita says and smiles at Sebastian and Anna who she’s been talking to. 

“I think I will go home.” Anna answers, looking sorry, but tired. Chris’ heart which did a slow but steady climb back up since the arrival of the reunited lovebirds - probably helped by no apparent and overstrung PDA - tumbles all the way down. He would like to keep talking.

“Ah, you have that important meeting on Monday, right?” Marie asks and looks sympathetic. She’s gonna say _honey, let's go home._

Anna nods and starts to talk in german. Marie gets up from the couch to squat down next to Anna’s chair. They keep talking for half a minute. Marie seems to be asking a lot of questions and Anna just nods empathically and pats her shoulder.

She is smiling board and fondly, they obviously love each other a lot. 

Chris tries not to watch too obvious but he is drunk and noisy, so go figure. After a while the two women laugh and hug and both get up.

But instead of announcing their goodbyes, it’s just Anna who sticks to leaving. She smiles and waves. 

“Take care of my girls,” she announces back in English, pointing at Julia and Marie. With a wink she is gone.

“Alright, locals. What’s good?”

They end up going to a club that’s called like a crazy grandma. Literally. _Wilde Renate_ is located on the other side of what Julia and Marie call _kiez._

They decide to walk, because when Chris suggests an Uber the two locals just shake their head. 

“No way. That's just boring and isn’t gonna give you the real Berlin experience.” 

They would be too many people for one car anyway, because its Sebastian and Margarita, Marie, her friend, Luke, the sound guy and Chris. So they start walking, stopping by a little kiosk with blinking lights to buy some drinks and cigarettes. 

Margarita is walking with Julia, Sebastian sticks to Luke, which - very conveniently and not entirely coincidental, leaves Marie to Chris. 

She has a bottle under one arm and holds another small one in her left hand, shoving a pack of cigarettes into the back pocket of her jeans. She’s dressed casually. The jeans cut at the ankles, they look torn, but Chris is well aware this is the sort of stuff you buy looking ragged and pay double for it. Her shirt is loose and white, the hem just brushing the edge of her trousers and when she moves and gestures with her arms he can see the skin of her back or her belly. 

She has a cardigan around her hips and a small fanny pack over the chest. It isn’t as if he hasn’t looked at her all night, but he takes this moment to look at her and enjoy it.

Her hair has grown longer, it's not touching her shoulders and it looks a little lighter than when they met. Maybe she got it done for work or it just got bleached by the sun. It is quite warm in Berlin, they’ve sweated just as extensively here as they did in Atlanta before. Even now, in the middle of the night, the air is warm and the little breeze that's going on is welcome to cool his heated head. 

“What are you looking at?” Marie asks when she is done packing her stuff. She is smiling softly and a bit unsure, but happy.

“The coincidence that is us meeting again like this.” answers Chris, even though that's more a concept that an actual sight to see, but he guesses she will understand. 

“Well, look closely, because I will make this night your best night in Berlin ever.”

“It is already.” he just says. 

They keep walking. A couple of meters behind the others, but not entirely separated. It's a nightly stroll. No rush, no urgent press of time frames to keep, just a summer night with people that know and love each other and other that don’t yet, but are willingly to just go with it. It’s amazing. Chris wishes Scott would be here. 

“Hold this.” Marie says and passes Chris the small bottle. He realizes it’s vodka. It makes him laugh. 

She unscrews the cap of the other one, its glass and holds a golden drink, the etiquette is blue.

“Maybe some people would say that to partying in Berlin, illegal drugs are essential and I’m not completely disagreeing with that, but - “ she smiles and presents the bottle like a trophy. “This is Mate. Like the Argentinian, or is it general South America?, tea.” 

Chris lifts his eyebrows, no idea what she is talking about. 

“Some don’t like the taste, say it tastes like tobacco. I love it. It’s actually a east German exclusive like this, I think.” She hands him the bottle. “”Take a few sips. Drink until, hmm, here.” She points to a line at the upper logo. 

“I don’t know if I can trust you.” he says, but laughs and takes a few sips. The taste is - weird. It’s true that it reminds him of cigarettes, but maybe that’s only because she said so. It’s not overly sweet or bitter, just strange weird to place. Not bad, though.

“Hmmm,” he makes. Takes another one.

“Come ooon. It’s not that bad.” she punches him lightly in the arm. 

“It’s okay,” is what he gives her. “Maybe.” 

“And now the vodka.” she says, takes the other bottle from his right hand. She unscrews this one too and they stop so that she can fill the vodka into the bigger bottle. When it’s empty she carefully puts the cap back on the Mate drink and looks around, spotting a orange trash can and putting her trash in there. 

Chris thinks that probably she never throws away her cigarettes either. If he didn’t have butterflies before, they’d come now. It’s ridiculous. 

When she is back, she takes the bottle back from him and starts to walk again. She closes it and turns it carefully around in her hands, careful not to shake too much because of the fizz. 

“Alright. There you have it. That’s what you need to have a good night.” she smiles. There’s a really sappy thought in his mind, but the air and walk have cleared his head enough that he can pretend he is an adult that knows how to get to know people.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess everyone has read the interviews that Jenny gave about Chris, right? I’d still like to put this quote here: ”but Chris is truly one of the kindest people I’ve ever met, to the point where sometimes I would look at him and it would kind of break my heart,” she says. “He’s really vulnerable, and he’s really straightforward. He’s like primary colors. He has beautiful, big, strong emotions, and he’s really sure of them. It’s just wonderful to be around. His heart is probably golden-colored, if you could paint it.  
> And I really drew from that when I started writing this and def took some of Jenny’s traits into this as well. Ok, I made her german and less quirky, because this is strictly self indulgent (which is why it also features Seb). At the same time, writing this now, years after I started I feel it really helps me with exploring my way of writing romance - i don't know, nothing makes sense but it's fun. And I hope so is this story. 
> 
> (edit to the last chapter; I do realize it makes no sense for marvel to bring their own sound guy and they probably hire a local team (i must know, there was the same people on the set for an american netflix show and a german sky production) and even if I made this up these details bug me because I wanted this to be super real and true to the details. whatever)

The club is really strange. It is situated in regular apartment building. There’s a high wooden fence and a small line in front of it. They split into two groups because Julia says it's easier to get into like this, especially because they are Americans who don’t speak German. Chris wondered about the dress code before but after scanning the queue he realizes that if there’s any it’s  _ not  _ to dress up. 

After a couple of questions from the bouncer they are let in, they collect a stamp inside a wooden entry room. It’s all very strange and almost fairytale like, with the neon lights and strange architecture. Chris is really glad he’s only drunk and can’t imagine people going in here while they are tripping. Even though, who knows, maybe that’s the appeal.

Julia and Luke go bring away their jackets, while the rest gets a drink at the outside bar.

Chris isn’t the biggest techno enthusiast, but Sebastian and Margarita seem to dig it. Chris can make do. He isn’t that much of a dancer anyway. 

“This place is super weird.” he says and means weird in the good sense. It’s a nice change and probably not as new or surprising as Chris finds it right now. 

“I guess it must look a little run down to you guys, but I fucking love it.” Marie grins.

“It’s so nice.” Margarita has practically heart eyes. “Can we move to Europe?” she asks Sebastian who only laughs and shrugs.

“Don’t tell your parents, guys. Didn’t they both want to leave this place?” Chris feels a bit bad to joke about people who had legitimate reasons to leave war and poverty behind, but no one seems to mind. 

“”We’d be disowned.” Margarita even adds. 

“I don’t think that would be a problem.” Marie says flatly. Probably not. Not with Sebastian’s 9 movie contract anyway.

They stay at the outside bar for a bit, waiting for Luke and Julia to return. Chris looks around, the outside has several wooden structures, build like bences and terrasses and there’s even a car in the corner of the garden. 

When the other two return they decide to go inside. 

Julia explains that there’s several floors, the biggest on the ground floor. Marie says it can be confusing with all the hallways and stairs connecting the two levels. 

The club is packed. Obviously, it is friday night, after all. On the first floor there’s several small rooms and bars and areas to sit. They decide to stay in a medium room to dance a bit, Sebastian and his former dancer girlfriend getting right in and looking like they belong. 

Actually everyone is - Julia and Marie are dancing together, laughing and obviously enjoying the music. And it’s not like Chris hates it, but he feels weird. He knows how to do the standard moves in a club to generic pop or hip hop. He isn’t a bad dancer, but isn’t amazing on the dance floor. He remembers there was once a girl who started grinding on him and he had to leave because he didn’t know how to respond. 

But Marie turns around to him and smiles and the light is super low, there’s smoke everywhere and Chris tries really hard to care less. So he moves his body around a bit, tries to feel the beats and just go with it. It goes - okay. 

After a while he finishes his beer and needs to pee and he thought he saw a toilet next to the stairs when they came up, so he moves a bit closer to the others to let them know. 

“Oh no,” says Marie and something else he can’t understand and Chris is afraid she might be thinking that we wants to leave. It’s very hard to communicate with this much noise around them. 

“Just. Toilet.” he shouts and points. 

“I know.” she answers. “But it’s disgusting.” and so she takes his hand and pulls him into another direction. they move through the other dancing area, walk past another bar and then get to a new set of stairs. It's much quieter here.

“Those ones there are just horrible,” Marie repearts. “The ones downstairs are slightly better.” 

To Chris the toilets look just as any other ragged club toilets, but the room is pretty big and there’s a sofa in the middle where a couple of people are sitting to catch their breaths. He goes to pee and hears a lot of distinctive sniffing, but he doesn’t mind. These things are always the same. 

They go back upstairs and Chris doesn’t want to dance anymore, he would rather just hang out with Marie and talk, but he doesn’t say anything. And still, when they are pushing through the mass of bodies, she turns around and asks “Wanna sit?” and he nods enthusiastically. 

They pass by some small rooms with sofas and fluorescent art and sit down on a lumpy looking couch. It’s a little less loud in here and they are alone. It’s nice.

“Do you mind if I smoke?” Marie asks and Chris just shakes his head. 

She pulls out her pack, gets one, lights it while holding it with her lips and its inhaling cancer, but Chris always found it super hot when people smoke. It's probably part of why he does it himself when he’s drunk enough. 

“Such a strange turn of events.” Marie says and blows smoke to the ceiling. He leans back against the couch and turns her body towards him. 

“I thought about you a lot.” Chris doesn’t mean to but it just stumbles out. It’s really easy to be honest with her. 

She smiles broadly. “Me too. It was so insane to meet you and talk and realize that you are just as cool as I thought. And yeah, well - that the evening didn’t end that well wasn’t your fault.” she takes another drag of the cigarette. 

“Yeah of course. I’m really happy you guys have been able to patch it up.” And he is. The fact that he tends to build fantasies with people he doesn’t know is laughable and the reality is that two people who love each other are giving it another try. He’s been there, it is something to be happy about. 

“What?” she asks. 

“I mean, I thought. The fact that we was there with you?” he tries to explain, confusedly. 

“Who?” she thinks, draws her eyebrows together. “Anna and I are still - ohhhhh.” and she falls back, understanding what he means. Or who.

“No, not at all. Anna. I mean, Anna from today is my friend. We went to school together, she’s best friend and Anna,  _ the other _ , Anna is someone else entirely. Sorry, of course you thought... ,” she shakes her head and looks a bit sad. 

_ Great job, Evans _ , Chris thinks. Way to make things worse. Remind the ex that left her, just because you want to have her for yourself. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to - “ he tries miserably.

“It’s okay.” she shakes her head. “I guess distance wasn’t the biggest problem. And she was right in that. It was, I mean, I was gone for so long and I didn’t really care.” she lifts her hands in emphasis. “I know how this sounds and when we talked I did care, but all these things going on, meetings with the glitz and glam, living this totally different reality and Germany was so far away and she was, too.” she shrugs, looking lost. “I just thought this is what I have to do, it is what I wanted for so long, this career, this chance of becoming someone.”

Chris nods. He understands. Virtually everyone he knows in the business has been there. You don’t want to prioritize your work over relationships, but it's very easy to still do it. Unintentionally. 

Marie takes a last drag of her cigarette and stubs it out in an empty beer bottle that someone left. She looks like she did when he found her crying on the steps in LA. 

They decide to go home not that much later. They don’t have to shoot anything on Saturday, but it would still be stupid to waste the whole day being hungover. There’s lines to go over, stunts to train, talks to be had. Things to do. 

They hug goodbye in front of the club. Margo secured a car for them. They asked Julia and Marie if they wanted to share the ride, but they say it doesn’t make sense, they’ll just take the train. 

Chris has a sudden wave of separation anxiety. He’s afraid he’ll never see Marie again or that they’ll keep meeting like this. Randomly, drunk in between other people. It’s not even only about his urge to kiss her senseless. 

But then she comes and hugs him really rightly, smelling like cigarette and sweat and shampoo and says; “Text me if you want to hang out.” and before Chris can say anything about how she was the one who didn’t answer he gets ushered into the taxi. 

Even with their foresight Chris feels destroyed the next morning. He texts Sebastian if he’d be up to hit the gym later (it’s really painful, but it genuinely helps) and secures a video date with his family.

He thinks about texting Marie, asking if she got home safe or something that is just as obvious. Instead he get room service to get him breakfast. 

“So Chris,” pants Sebastian two hours later in between a set of pull ups. “Who was the girl from last night?” They are almost alone in the hotel gym. Chris is working out on a mat on the floor and facing big windows that overlook some modern looking square.

“I met her in LA once.” he says and hopes its enough. 

Clearly it isn’t because Sebastian laughs. “Oh come on.” he turns his head and looks at Chris from between his arms. Which is - impressive and a little distracting. Good to know that meeting MArie hasn’t fully overwritten Chris old, long term crush on Sebastian. 

“That’s what you told everyone last night. That why now, I am asking again.” He looks way more serious than the topic would suggest.

“It’s the truth. We met once at a party, had a surprising great time and now we met again. It was a great coincidence. I think she is awesome.” 

Sebastian lets himself down, grabs a towel and sits down next to Chris who tries to focus on his plank. 

“ _ Great _ great?” Sebastian asks and wriggles his eyebrows. 

“Not like that.” Chris grits out. 

“But you’d like to?”

“I guess. Aw man - “ Chris breathes out, stops planking and lays down. “I think she’s gay.” 

“Oh, I see.” Sebastian says. Wipes his face. Seems to think. “Did she says that?” 

Chris is glad he isn’t saying anything like  _ she doesn’t look gay to me _ or some shit like that. This is why he will be forever at least a little in love with him. He’s not talking any more bullshit than necessary and Chris really appreciates people being earnest.

“She told me about her girlfriend.”  _ When she dumped her _ , he doesn’t say, but it doesn’t matter. 

Sebastian is quiet for a moment, Chris breathes against the rubber of the mat. It’s ridiculous that he gets to worked up about an innocent crush.


End file.
